Lindsay's wedding

I have a bunch of stuff to write about Lindsay's wedding, which is now, thank God, a treasured memory, both for us and for our bank balance. It took place without a hitch on a gorgeous day in Ojai. The hitches happened before when we first discovered that Courtney couldn't be here and then after Joyce and Jennifer cancelled at the last moment because they were sick. I hear from everyone that there is some kind of nasty bug working its way around. It's one of those things that sucks but there's nothing you can do about it.

I'm posting a boatload of photos on my Flickr site, which is under my name or "Princey's pics."

Two of the highlights of the wedding were the toasts by the bridesmaids who stepped in for Courtney. Amber went first and everyone was impressed. It was well thought-out, funny and smart. And then Shelby came to the mike. She bemoaned having to follow Amber and then shared her poem she wrote. It was short and it was hysterical.

When Rob went back up to the place we rented for the wedding to clean up it turned out area animals had gotten into the trash and it was strewn all over. He found both speeches in the trash, so I'm transcribing them here for all to see and then Lindsay is going to put them up and save them:

First Shelby's toast:

She's his Leah to his Solo
He's her shot glass to her Barcardi O

Lindsay, at least you've still got your youth
He doesn't even care that
you're missing a tooth

Later tonight while he
kisses her lips
They'll make excellent
use of her birthing hips

When they're together it's
like totally hot
It'll end in divorce ... NOT!

Amber's toast
Hi everybody:

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Amber, and I'm here today as Lindsay Guzik's Maid of Honor. You know, if I'm Lindsay's idea of an honorable maiden, you can imagine ... Ryan's in for a pretty wild night. But before we get freaky, I have a few things to say.

Lindsay, I am honored to stand by your side today above all days.

On behalf of the bridesmaids and myself, I want to tell you how lovely and radiant you are today, and how pleased we are to share in this moment of bliss.

Lindsay and I have been friends for about seven years. Over that time, she has taught me a lot about friendship and loyalty. We have a wonderful and strong relationship, built on a foundation of honestly, trust and commitment. That bedrock has given rise to very many happy memories. Like the time she came to visit me in Santa Cruz as a birthday surprise, or the time I took her on her first roller coaster ride. Yeah, that one was mostly happy for me. Of all the great memories, the fondest memory I will now have is watching her marry this wonderful and worthy man, the love of her life, Ryan.

Congratulations to you both!

One barrier I faced while thinking of what to say in this speech was the feeling that I don't know Ryan as well as I would like. I know he's tall and handsome and funny and my representative in California's state legislature, but other than that ... I'm lacking insights. He could be into dressing up like Captain Kirk* for all I know.

But as I was thinking about that, it dawned on me that I will have all my life to get to know him, because if I know Lindsay, I know the strength of her dedication, it's like a vise ... on my head ... and my vision begins to distort ... honestly, she's loyal to a fault. Even through her ... substantial ... jitters, she's made it clear that this is a couple that doesn't cross their fingers, they roll up their sleeves. There are no two people more loyal and loving, honest and hardworking, or deserving of happiness than Lindsay and Ryan.

Be good to each other. Be gentle, and you will be strong. You make one another shine. I love you both very much.

Now I would like you all to please raise your glasses and join me in a toast.

Today we all celebrate love. Your love, and what you have in each other: a best friend, a coach, a sweetheart and a partner for life. CHEERS!
*Editor's note: Kirk, not so much, however, he DOES have Spock ears -- seriously. Lindsay won't let him wear them.