Paparazzi and Malibu

For fun, Rob and I headed to Malibu, or the 'Bu as WE called it back in 1997, and I have proof, to check out the action. The big place is the Malibu Country Mart where they have Juicy Couture, Nobu and Wise potato chips. We've always wanted to go there because there are always pictures in magazines of stars taken there and we just HAD to check out the scene.

Apparently the paparazzi dudes -- and for the most part they are dudes -- hang at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Even though there's a Starbucks a few hundred yards away, it doesn't seem to have the same cachet. Go figure. We watched as they chased some people, but we couldn't figure out who they were. One was a really small non-descript girl and another was some dark-haired dude. The paps didn't seem TOO excited so they weren't big.

The Hollywood people LOVE to complain about paparazzi, but then they make sure they go to the places these guys hang out, and from the looks of things there are certain set places you're sure to find the cameras.

It's a unique experience. There are the shiny, skinny, coiffed Malibu moms taking the kids to play in the sandbox, which being in the middle of a shopping area doesn't seem to be the best place to go for kids, but I suppose if you're all into The Scene, and these people are, this is where you'd bring the little darlings.

The trophy wives were all leading their little spawnlings as they bitched at them. Dena says they're cranky because they never eat, which is apparent from their teenie butts. The look du jour is teenie tiny little skirts or dresses that look like tennis tunics -- if you're wondering about such things. One particularly emblematic mom was scolding her kids, "mommy is just going to get a coffee. Is that OK with YOU????" Of course the little boy, about age 4 was wearing a long black dress. I said she was letting him express himself. Rob said kids need to be told what they can and can't wear at this age and not knowing boundaries and rules does no one any favors.

Of course I stood out like a sore thumb, what with my camera, walking cast, cane and old gym shorts, which are the only things that fit because of the hemotoma on my hip from the accident. I'm almost to the point of being freaky looking enough to move from my customary middle-aged invisibility to ewwwww, not that I care much. I had fun and it's so cool that I live so close to a place like this. It's like a surreal theme park -- Malibuland -- I can visit any time I want.

Damn. This place has celebrities AND Wise potato chips -- incidentally the BEST potato chip in the WORLD, which are unavailable west of Pennsylvania. I actually called Bordon corporate headquarters once in Columbus, Ohio, when I lived in Dayton to see if I could get them to sell Wise potato chips in Ohio and the girl on the phone laughed at me. But they have them in Malibu. I bought two big bags. Rob said, I don't want any chips." I said, "I don't care what you want, you're not touching my chips."

UPDATE: It turns out they were waiting for the Backstreet Boys. TMZ is reporting that they had lunch together sans Nick Carter. THAT explains it. I wouldn't know a Backstreet Boy -- except perhaps for Nick Carter and that's only because of his creepy reality series -- if I ran over one. Later on, Reese Witherspoon went to Nobu, but we missed that.