This photo is completely overexposed (it's hard to see that teenie little screen on my camera without glasses, but I can't take pictures with reading glasses on because they blur things far away ... yet another joy of aging), so I got creative. Anyway, if you're wondering, it's soft-shelled crabs with almond slivers.
I had to do an interview with some ladies about the local symphony's fundraiser and we met at the Promenade at Westlake -- a shopping center in Thousand Oaks, which just also happens to have the closest Bristol Farms gourmet grocery store. For some reason the corporate powers that be have decreed Ventura as not having the right "socioeconomic profile" to deserve a gourmet grocery store. This, despite the fact that the average home is worth well over $500,000 and that our downtown houses to a booming restaurant trade.
So if I want anything more than what the local big chains offer -- Von's, Ralph's and on the west side, the world dirtiest Albertson's -- I have to go either to Santa Barbara or Thousand Oaks, both equa-distant on either side of Ventura. It's probably a good thing because every time I get near a gourmet market I'm like Carrie Bradshaw in the Bloomingdale's shoe department -- devoid of all reason besides that of acquisition.
Adding to my manic mood was the fact that I'd survived another week of turmoil. Rob was called into eye surgery last Wednesday. After repairing his retina, the doctor lets it heal. The eyeball is left lens-less and filled with oil during this repair process. According to Rob's doctor, patients are left like this for up to a year, but Rob heals exceptionally well, so they were ready to give him a new lens after five months. The second operation is where Rob gets his new lens (now we both have artificial parts) and the oil is drained and replaced by gas or air, which will itself eventually be replaced by viscous fluid Rob's body will produce.
An opening came up after we raised a stink trying to find out when the surgery was scheduled -- Kaiser Permanente in West Los Angeles has a real problem with the whole scheduling concept. This meant that I had to drive Rob to L.A. for what we were told was a 9 a.m. appointment. Of course, the surgery wasn't actually scheduled until 2 p.m. -- this is what I man about scheduling.
To get anywhere in L.A. at 9 a.m. from Ventura means getting going at at least 6 a.m. Los Angeles traffic is unpredictable and impossible. There's no way to tell, coming in from the north, when, exactly, you're going to get anywhere. Traffic stops usually in Calabasas and is bumper to bumper pretty much through the L.A. area.
We decided to take the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) because the 101/405 interchange, justifiably rated as the worst in the country in most rankings, is always a nightmare. The PCH is risky, though, because it's two lanes in many places and there's also construction, so it can come to a grinding halt easily. Even so, it's nicer to be stuck in traffic with waves lapping the rocks on the side of the road than it is to be stuck in the vast wastelands of The Valley.
Rob and I ended up having to sit around -- he in his hospital gown with a saline drip -- waiting five hours for the surgery. We would have pitched a fit, but we've learned that there are certain places -- Kaiser Permanente West Los Angeles, being one of them -- where the time/space continuum is warped and resistance, as they say, is futile. Unlike the island on Lost, it's not a cool space/time rift, it's just a pain in the ass -- the ass that gets sore just sitting around.
I took off as soon as they wheeled him off because I was exhausted and he was going to be drugged after surgery and probably wouldn't need visitors. I know I didn't really need visitors when I was coming off my knee replacement. Extreme pain and discomfort tend to demand a lot of attention and it's hard to entertain, even minimally.
The surgery went well and Rob was released the next day. It was pretty hilarious at the hospital because they had to keep wheeling Rob around because he was a patient and there I was hobbling along on my new knee with my cane, looking far more in need of assistance.
After all of this, I was really in the mood to get some nice, little treat at Bristol Farms and I knew just the thing. In late May it's soft-shell crab season. When I lived in Ohio, the local gourmet store -- the incomparable Dorothy Lane Market -- used to carry them. Here, in California it's so far away from the Mid-Atlantic Coast where the crabs molt each year, that finding soft- shelled crabs is next to impossible. Sometimes, I'll order them at sushi places -- they're frozen and dipped in tempura batter. But they're not really the same.
Lo and behold, and much to my delight, Bristol Farms actually had the crabs and they weren't frozen. They were actually alive. I was so psyched I overlooked the $25 a pound price tag and got three. I had the butcher clean them, which is good because I tend to bond with living things.
I prepared them as I always do -- simply and deliciously. When I had my food column in the Ventura County Star, I ran this recipe and someone wrote me and chastised me for making it so simple. They seemed to feel that I needed to make up some kind of heavy batter to "properly" fry soft-shelled crabs. Yuk! When you get a great ingredient -- a once-every-10-years ingredient -- you don't muck it up with all kinds of distracting elements. No! You cook it as simply and as well as you can. After all that's the point of a special treat.
I bought Rob a sirloin steak on sale -- which at Bristol Farms means it costs less than $30 a pound -- and prepared it simply on the grill. The steak was amazingly good, especially for a sirloin. I had my soft-shelled crabs and they were every bit as delicious and wonderful as I'd hoped and remembered.
If you ever come across them, here's the recipe that perfectly frames the wonderful culinary sensations that are soft-shelled crabs.
Soft-shelled crabs amandine
olive oil
butter
3 soft-shelled crabs, cleaned
1 cup flour
1/2 cup slivered almonds
Heat olive oil and butter in skillet. Dredge crabs in flour. I don't season the flour because I find the taste of the crabs to be a bit salty and I don't like the way pepper tastes with this (frankly, I think pepper is overused, but that's a whole different topic). Cook crabs over medium heat until browned on both sides. Add almonds when you flip the crabs over, after cooking about 4 to 5minutes. Serve crabs with almonds on top.
I just serve them with a salad. I love the crunch and saltiness of the crabs combined with the almond flavor.
Despite everything, this meal was totally worth it.
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