I hate McDonalds. It's not the food -- after all McDonalds' food is what it is -- fatty crap. And sometimes you're just in the mood for a Big Mac or their breakfast food, which generally consists of fatty, greasy sausages, dry biscuits and manufactured cheese. Generally, I avoid McDonalds and can go for about a year between Big Macs -- two teeny, weenie beef patties with slimy sauce, lots of bread, processed cheese and shredded lettuce, which somehow come together to make a marvel of modern cuisine.
No, my problem with McDonalds is the service. They seem to employ the stupidest, rudest, laziest people available in any locale. In Ventura the big problem is that they often man the drive-thrus with non-English speaking people. This means that any deviation in an order is met with general lack of comprehension, a long wait, a manager whose English is only slightly less limited and -- most likely -- a screwed up order. If there's anything that's frustrating it's giving in to the base instinct that drove you to McDonalds in the first place and then getting home and finding that they didn't get your order right.
Rob and I get a kick out of the Ventura McDonalds because they have a sign up: If you have any comments or complaints call ***** (I forget the name). Most days the sign has been carefully covered up by the workers. Don't even try to contact the McDonalds corporate headquarters. You'll get back a form letter, the gist of which is "Sorry about that bad experience, but all McDonalds are franchises and you need to contact your franchise owner directly," which I translate to "It's not our problem."
So when I came to Ohio, I figured the service had to be better. After all people in Ohio can at least speak and understand English. I went to the McDonald's closest to Courtney and Dave's house here in Bellbrook and made it into the long line at 10:25 a.m. They took my order, but it took more than 10 minutes to give it to me and they'd switched to lunch. This meant they didn't have my breakfast sandwich -- a sausage biscuit -- available and they sure as Hell weren't going to make me one -- as the manager made clear. So they gave me a bacon, egg and cheese. Sure, you're wondering, why didn't they just scrape the bacon egg and cheese off and put a damned sausage in the biscuit -- but that would require way too much cognitive ability for your average McDonalds worker.
I came home frustrated and Dave and Courtney laughed because I always get riled when I come into contact the basic stupidity of the Midwestern minimum wage worker. They can speak English, but it doesn't seem to matter much because they're so rude and they really don't care.
The next day Dave came home after getting breakfast for all of us. He'd ordered two sausage biscuits. But when he unwrapped what was labelled as a sausage biscuit he only found a biscuit. Then he noticed a container and opened it. There he found the sausage. Apparently this was a build-it-yourself sausage biscuit.
I had to take a picture of it because it goes to show why I avoid the place. I guess "rude idiot" must be a job requirement.
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